August 6th, 2011
It was a heat drenched day down in Soho. The air was thick, the breeze was minimal and the conversation was absolutely refreshing.
A friend and I decided to take a leisurely stroll. We reminisced about the ridiculous shenanigans that ensued over the summer. Some involving deli meat and vodka, others concerning Gayle King and leather belts. But…that’s a story for another time. (Stay tuned)
And eventually, as most chick conversations seem to end up, we landed on the subject of her love life. Her foreign love affair…to be more exact.
She blossomed about her British love, Nathan.
The story goes like this:
They met her freshman year of college. He was an eager, foreign exchange student looking for something new and she was the bright eyed American girl he had hoped to sweep off her feet.
And he did.
They fell in love, with each other, the idea of each other and the foreign boundaries that should have never brought them together in the first place, but did. And like every hopelessly foreign romantic love story, there was an expiration date stamped on his European plane ticket
…and he left.
The end… Just kidding.
She went to visit.
They kept in contact.
She even missed her flight home once just so they could have sex. one. more. time.
And 3 years and numerous meaningless flings later, distance was the only tangible excuse keeping them apart. And as we rhyth-mi-cally walked through the streets of New York City, sipping on a much needed Starbucks passion tea lemonade, she stopped…looked at me so genuinely with those big bright eyes and said “I can’t explain it Olive, I just..I want to be with him. I think. I mean, I haven’t seen him in 2 years but, nothings changed. I’d move to Europe for him, and he’d move here for me. I just miss him so much and I can’t figure out why. I feel like I’m crazy. Am I crazy? It doesn’t make any sense, right?”
Please, when you get the chance, join us down here on planet earth.
I felt like I needed to tell her that she was crazy, that it didn’t make sense at all. He’s miles away, it’s been 2 years and there are absolutely no guarantees.
The more I thought about it…it was those very reasons I wanted to tell her the opposite. That if after the distance, after the time passed and with zero guarantees of success she still wanted it, she still really really wanted it, and so did he, then this might not be crazy at all.
It makes perfect sense.
So I said:
“Do you really care about him that much? Would you compare Nathan to any guy you would be with from here on out?. Because if you would, every. single. time. then you’ll be haunted with “what ifs” for the rest of your romantic career. So maybe you should just go for it, or at least try, because sometimes the scarier, riskier yet desirable choice, is in fact the right one.
I think you already do.”