My Craigslist Commentary 3

November 27th 2012 That’s right fools. It’s time for Not Round 1 Not Round 2 But Round 3 Of Craig’slist Commentary. As usual, if you have any genuine interest with the following candidates, please please let me know. I’d be more than happy to stay the hell away from you. Seeking Adult Drunk Clown For 30th … Continue reading

You Look Good In Change

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May 19th 2012 “I’m sorry, can you call your friend again? If he’s not here in the next 10 minutes…then we’re going to have to cancel his show.” . I called. No answer. Called again. No answer. Called one more time. Straight to voicemail. A few days before hand I had rallied my co-workers, friends … Continue reading

Hey, Can You Drop Me Off?

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February 2nd, 2011 So. There was this treacherous time in my college career in which my entire campus was completely glazed over by a sheet of ice that most likely derived from the wrath of Mother Nature’s ice-cold soul. …alright… I can see how that was a little dramatic. I just wasn’t wearing a sweater … Continue reading

Stumble Out

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November 9th 2012 “Oh…Olive I didn’t realize you brought someone home last night.” popped I                         up in my bed in a panic Harper  was standing in my doorway with an amused look on her face I looked at her Then looked to my right. … Continue reading

Here’s Why I Think You’re The One

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December 30th, 2007 She had told me about him before. But never this way. We  s p r a w l e d out in her San Diego apartment, slowly unwinding from the whirlwind holiday madness that was coming to a neat end. Coffee table conversation with the family slid into content silence as everyone … Continue reading

13 Impossible Rescue Tactics For A Crab In Distress

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November  4th 2012 The other day I invested in this casual social interaction which I like to call the “It’s pretty clear to me you’re busy stalking people right now…but hey wanna talk anyway?” chat. Or as other people like to call it “Facebook Chat” This amusing go around twas with my childhood friend, Tanner. And … Continue reading

Kate Middleton, The Ghostbusters, And Some Fries

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October 27th, 2012 So Halloween used to be cute And then it got weird And then I became some sort of variation of an adult and was all like Oh shit, a Halloween party? Costumes mandatory? Yeah I’m not going. What? Free booze and candy?…Oh okay I’ll just put this on. Anyway, now I’m not … Continue reading

This Is How Successful You Are

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December 7th, 2006 It was perfect clockwork.  Every year the mom took (dragged) my sister and I to her holiday company party where we would take painful pictures that looked like this: Which, I’ll be honest, I only got my sister’s permission to use this pic by agreeing to follow it up with a recent … Continue reading