So I Guess I’m Taking You On A Date: The Panic Diaries – Guy Edition

This gallery contains 16 photos.

May 31st 2013 . Boobs and ass. . Indeed, these are the initial ingredients responsible for my abrupt appearance in any decently attractive chick’s general direction. . . . . True, the success rate of prolonged lingering, choking for conversation, and laughing up a goddamn tornado every time this hoodrat laughs at her own jokes … Continue reading

5 Things I’m Doing Instead Of Paying Attention

This gallery contains 17 photos.

May 29th 2013 . Dude. . I have no idea what the fuck you just said. . And I’m sorry. . . . . Sort of sorry. . . . . . …Moderately sorry. . . . . . Alright listen . . If you’re thinking to yourself “Cool, asshole, why didnt’ you listen to … Continue reading

So You Wanna Take Me On A Date: The Panic Diaries – Girl Edition

This gallery contains 8 photos.

May 23rd 2013 . So I like your face and you like mine. . THAT’S GOOD SHIT. . Often times, boys and girls make this spontaneous decision on a rather hourly basis and SOMETIMES they like each other’s faces well enough to go on what we like to label as a “date”. . But . … Continue reading

12 Ways I Would Choose To Go (If Given The Choice)

This gallery contains 22 photos.

May 10th 2013 . “FREE CHEESECAKE” . These potent words struck the hearts of every co-worker near and far as they echoed     t h r o u g h      my office hallways and into >  the ears of my fellow,ever hungry employees. Myself definitely included. . The story is this. . … Continue reading

Everyone’s Off Getting Married And I’m Over Here…Pt. 2

This gallery contains 36 photos.

May 14th 2013 . Hey, it’s me. . What’s that? Am I hitched yet? . WHOA WHOA WHOA . STEP OFF. . No wait hold on come back. . Listen. I’m going to get my ass hat self married in a jif. Don’t you worry your little marital self. It’s just that, I’ve been really … Continue reading

How To Break The Ice With Class

This gallery contains 17 photos.

May 10th, 2013 “Hi I’m Olive (*Hiiiiiii Oliveeeeee*) and my fun fact is I um…I uh likeeee…. (WHAT THE FUCK JUST SAY SOMETHING YOU FOOL)…bananas?” . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. . I’d like to tell you this story isn’t true. In fact, I’d love to tell you that this never happened to me at all. But alas, there … Continue reading

She Didn’t Know I Heard Her

March 23rd, 2011 Everyone stood in complete silence after he shoved her into the dining room table and watched as she tOpPlEd onto the wine-stained floor. . “You’re crazy!” She told him. “You’re crazy and you need help. And no one likes you anyway.” . This was not the way they intended the party to … Continue reading

20 Reasons Graduating Doesn’t Blow

This gallery contains 31 photos.

May 3rd 2013 We need to talk. . You’re about to graduate. And you, my friend literally CANNOT HANDLE THAT SHIT. . . Well tough peaches. . This shit’s going down. . No matter how many beers you chug. Or bagels you eat. Or frat guys you spoon. . This shit is still.going.THE FUCK. down. … Continue reading