Everyone’s Off Getting Married And I’m Over Here…Pt. 2

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May 14th 2013 . Hey, it’s me. . What’s that? Am I hitched yet? . WHOA WHOA WHOA . STEP OFF. . No wait hold on come back. . Listen. I’m going to get my ass hat self married in a jif. Don’t you worry your little marital self. It’s just that, I’ve been really … Continue reading

10 Reasons Adulthood Left My Birthday Party

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April 19th 2013 Happy Birthday! . . A.k.a. . Happy – I exist because my rents apparently didn’t wrap it and I feel weird about that but I guess it’s all good because now I’m all alive and shit – Day . Happy – Put cake in my face – Day .. Happy – Was … Continue reading

Marco, Magicians, And Mass Nuggets: The Finale

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December 31st, 2012 You’re invited. To the magic show. That’s right. Per Al’s unlikely confession the following night, the magician was officially on his way. Please view your invitation below: Who? Magic Mike. An original Ninja waiter from our dinner location the night before that Al had ever so discreetly hired for our New Years … Continue reading

Marco: Part 1

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December 29th 2012 Calling all weirdos. . . The situation was this. . . . They were back. . . . They were all back. Al, Hallie, Brandon and Penny were once again standing at my doorstep for round 2 in attempts to top our New Years Eve Madness that had occurred just 1 year … Continue reading

Marco, Magicians And Mass McNuggets: The Prequel.

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His reaction was practically immediate. “I’m moving to New York,” I told him, “And I…I probably won’t be coming back…at least not for a while.” He looked at me. Surprised. Contemplative. Confused. And eventually after a few lingering moments had passed he looked at me again and said . “Party on.” . Rewind. Al Reade … Continue reading

Cranmerry Christmas

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December 25, 2012 Tis the season to eat mali. Just kiddinggg. To be jolly. And I was quite jolly. As jolly as one can being sandwiched between an overweight man and the window on a flight back to the city on christmas morning. But don’t feel bad for me. That man kept me relatively warm … Continue reading

Stumble Out

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November 9th 2012 “Oh…Olive I didn’t realize you brought someone home last night.” popped I                         up in my bed in a panic Harper  was standing in my doorway with an amused look on her face I looked at her Then looked to my right. … Continue reading

Kate Middleton, The Ghostbusters, And Some Fries

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October 27th, 2012 So Halloween used to be cute And then it got weird And then I became some sort of variation of an adult and was all like Oh shit, a Halloween party? Costumes mandatory? Yeah I’m not going. What? Free booze and candy?…Oh okay I’ll just put this on. Anyway, now I’m not … Continue reading