Just A Heads Up About Your Dream Girl

This gallery contains 21 photos.

October 22nd 2013 . What a HOTTIE. . Your dream girl that is. . . . . Long, lustrous hair. Bombshell body. Killer appetite to hang with the boys: . …But a KICKASS bodice that somehow appears like she only shovels in fuckin quinoa. . . She’s funny, adorable, gleams at you like you’re her … Continue reading

The 11 People I Met In Prague

This gallery contains 18 photos.

September 4th 2013 . I had a violent love affair once. . With the city of Prague. . . . Twas destination 2 of my  Eurotrip, you see and my sister and I were on a passionate endeavor to amp up our class after the unexpected shenanigans that happened at our european stop before –  like informing … Continue reading

My Craigs List Commentary 7

This gallery contains 2 photos.

June 18th 2013 . Just so you know. . Those weird people? . On the internet? . They’re still fucking here! . (Myself included.) . Wtf do I mean? . Who are these assholes?! . . . . . Whoa, calm down. . What I mean is, after scanning the Craigslist archives 1 2 3 … Continue reading

So I Guess I’m Taking You On A Date: The Panic Diaries – Guy Edition

This gallery contains 16 photos.

May 31st 2013 . Boobs and ass. . Indeed, these are the initial ingredients responsible for my abrupt appearance in any decently attractive chick’s general direction. . . . . True, the success rate of prolonged lingering, choking for conversation, and laughing up a goddamn tornado every time this hoodrat laughs at her own jokes … Continue reading

5 Things I’m Doing Instead Of Paying Attention

This gallery contains 17 photos.

May 29th 2013 . Dude. . I have no idea what the fuck you just said. . And I’m sorry. . . . . Sort of sorry. . . . . . …Moderately sorry. . . . . . Alright listen . . If you’re thinking to yourself “Cool, asshole, why didnt’ you listen to … Continue reading

So You Wanna Take Me On A Date: The Panic Diaries – Girl Edition

This gallery contains 8 photos.

May 23rd 2013 . So I like your face and you like mine. . THAT’S GOOD SHIT. . Often times, boys and girls make this spontaneous decision on a rather hourly basis and SOMETIMES they like each other’s faces well enough to go on what we like to label as a “date”. . But . … Continue reading

12 Ways I Would Choose To Go (If Given The Choice)

This gallery contains 22 photos.

May 10th 2013 . “FREE CHEESECAKE” . These potent words struck the hearts of every co-worker near and far as they echoed     t h r o u g h      my office hallways and into >  the ears of my fellow,ever hungry employees. Myself definitely included. . The story is this. . … Continue reading

Everyone’s Off Getting Married And I’m Over Here…Pt. 2

This gallery contains 36 photos.

May 14th 2013 . Hey, it’s me. . What’s that? Am I hitched yet? . WHOA WHOA WHOA . STEP OFF. . No wait hold on come back. . Listen. I’m going to get my ass hat self married in a jif. Don’t you worry your little marital self. It’s just that, I’ve been really … Continue reading

How To Break The Ice With Class

This gallery contains 17 photos.

May 10th, 2013 “Hi I’m Olive (*Hiiiiiii Oliveeeeee*) and my fun fact is I um…I uh likeeee…. (WHAT THE FUCK JUST SAY SOMETHING YOU FOOL)…bananas?” . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. . I’d like to tell you this story isn’t true. In fact, I’d love to tell you that this never happened to me at all. But alas, there … Continue reading