Just A Heads Up About Your Dream Girl

This gallery contains 21 photos.

October 22nd 2013 . What a HOTTIE. . Your dream girl that is. . . . . Long, lustrous hair. Bombshell body. Killer appetite to hang with the boys: . …But a KICKASS bodice that somehow appears like she only shovels in fuckin quinoa. . . She’s funny, adorable, gleams at you like you’re her … Continue reading

In Response To Your Love Poem On The Stairs

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August 8th, 2013 . I love romantic shit. . But sometimes I ruin it… . Like the time I did this: . The other day I was commuting home from a long day of work, purposely pit-stopping to purchase a few cookies and a little milk along the way. . But only because . I … Continue reading

So You Wanna Take Me On A Date: The Panic Diaries – Girl Edition

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May 23rd 2013 . So I like your face and you like mine. . THAT’S GOOD SHIT. . Often times, boys and girls make this spontaneous decision on a rather hourly basis and SOMETIMES they like each other’s faces well enough to go on what we like to label as a “date”. . But . … Continue reading

20 Reasons Graduating Doesn’t Blow

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May 3rd 2013 We need to talk. . You’re about to graduate. And you, my friend literally CANNOT HANDLE THAT SHIT. . . Well tough peaches. . This shit’s going down. . No matter how many beers you chug. Or bagels you eat. Or frat guys you spoon. . This shit is still.going.THE FUCK. down. … Continue reading

I’ll Help You, If You Help Me

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October 11th, 2010 . I remember sitting at the table with a cinnamon roll and a glass of milk. . The table was long, pieced with glossy white tiles, and trimmed with a maple wood frame. . . . . I didn’t eat the cinnamon roll. . I just remember watching the icing spill over … Continue reading

Everyone’s Off Getting Married And I’m Over Here…

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March 8th 2013 So You’re Married. That’s cool. I like that shit. Good tidings to you and all of your Tupperware. As for me? And my weird friends? We’re busy doing other things. Less romantic things. Much less stable things. And definitely less responsible things. Things that you’d think we’d be embarrassed to tell you. But we’re not. … Continue reading

So You Want To Sleepover: The Panic Diaries – Guy Edition

Well. I’ve already told you what we think.   About the sleepovers I mean. And I’m not talking gal pal- bros night sleepovers. I’m talking about the scandy ones with someone you wouldn’t mind doing questionable things to. But what about you? What in the hell is going through your mind: Before? During? After? The cuddle? The goddamn … Continue reading

So You Want To Sleepover: The Panic Diaries – Girl Edition

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Alright. So you have those sleepovers. And I’m not talking gal pal- bros night sleepovers. I’m talking about the scandy ones with someone you wouldn’t mind doing questionable things to. . But here’s the thing. . They’re not your significant other. . They’re not even someone you’ve hooked up with before. . No no. This … Continue reading

You’re Just In Time

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December 3rd 2012 “Final boarding call for flight 1372 to Charlotte, North Carolina” . Renee looked                   at her boarding pass. Shit. down Flight 1372 was departing at 12:59pm sharp. It was now 12:38pm. She took off >> sprinting towards terminal 6, beelining for Gate C30 in … Continue reading