Your Not So Secret Search Engine

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June 28th 2013 .  I know something you don’t know. . . Creeped out yet? . Sweet. . So. . Every day I check the analytics behind this absurd blog. You know, just to see if shit’s running smoothly, people like my jokes (like my jokes) , AND FINALLY to figure out who the hell … Continue reading

She Didn’t Know I Heard Her

March 23rd, 2011 Everyone stood in complete silence after he shoved her into the dining room table and watched as she tOpPlEd onto the wine-stained floor. . “You’re crazy!” She told him. “You’re crazy and you need help. And no one likes you anyway.” . This was not the way they intended the party to … Continue reading

I Have A Confession

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April 24th 2013 . He was going away. . “I’m Leaving New York City. For good.” He said. “…At least I am for now. “ . raised We                         our glasses . Shane, Meg and I. At a restaurant on the lower east side named … Continue reading

Our Realization In The McCullough-Hyde Parking Lot

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October 28th 2011 Read this and then read that  vvv ————————————————————————————————————- “Wait…didn’t you graduate?” Indeed I did. But I’m back motherfuckers…for like a day. But whatever. Everyone does it. Ventures back to their college town glory days .just.one.more.time. Just to get.one.more.tasteful reminder of what it feels like to be young and wild and free (and anything else … Continue reading

The Best Secret I Ever Kept Was In The Skybox Bathroom

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January 15th, 2011 It was an accident. I wasn’t supposed to find out. I definitely wasn’t supposed to find out. But I did. And the story goes like this: Senior year of college was a giant cloud of irresponsible madness. Filled with carefree nights, copious amounts of pizza and an indescribable amount of dancing before, during … Continue reading